Fear, not in destroying it, but acknowledging it, and accepting it as a part of my life. Claiming it and saying, “OK, we have to live together. It’s time to figure how how to do that.” Not a battle, not a war; let’s call it an uneasy alliance. And exciting things are often uneasy experiences. Growing isn’t painless.
A new book (to me) I just started reading. “Feel the Fear And Do It Anyway” by Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. Her Truth No. 1. I guess sometimes we spend so much time fighting fear, not just in writing, but on so many different levels. We call it different things, like procrastination because we have other things to do, we get sidetracked. Self-protection. Or it’s just plain too hard. I have all sorts of reasons sometimes. Second-guessing myself tends to be a constant.
One thing I know is that when I’m writing a story, and I get to a section and I go back and forth in my mind and I say – because I talk to myself a lot, “I can’t write this or that, because it’s just too far out there,” that’s fear trying to override where my muse wants to take me. And once I’ve written that passage or that scene, that rush of adrenaline bursts inside. That scary moment, that moment when I think I’m crazy for taking chances, but also says, this is authentic, this isn’t about acceptable, it’s not about all the rules, all the political correctness, it’s about flying free. This is raw, this is what I want to write. But there is fear, and far from ever going away, or getting past it, I embrace the fear because it means I’m pushing myself to challenge boundaries, to challenge myself. I guess the day my writing doesn’t scare the crap out of me, I’m done. So, the one thing I need to do is recognize it, embrace it, and keep on moving.